Voices: Odu. You dey hear me o. You dey hear me o.
Fela: E bring paper, I sign am. Because I know say e dey lie. When the time for the show reach, I see for television: Gate fee 500 naira! 300 naira! I come go Shrine. I say thank you very much for the gift. The man don make me get 65,000. I know say uhn! I no go do. And that money, shuuwan. (He passes a hand across his mouth making an eating sign.)
(Prolonged laughter follows)
Fela: There is no artiste in this world that gives television rights free. Me I gi’am free. I gi’am record, free. You hear that one before. For wetin? To take 500 naira? Take your money, give me 10,000 dollars. For wetin? So I come send power for ‘im nyash. I gi’am date to pay balance, 25th November. If e no pay on that day, na contract. E dey for the contract o. On the 25th I just go my bed. I go war ‘im leg. (Laughter)
Voices: Come dey fuck toto! You send Orisha go meet am!
Fela: Him no see road for my house. E no come. As e no come, (He wipes his mouth with a whistle) I chop ‘im money. (More laughter)
Voices: No case! Any case? 419!
Fela: My own no be 419, na 999! (More laughter)
Voices: The Igbo don quench o! Smoke the Igbo now!
Fela: When we go Sunsplash for Lekki. Na this man wey put money that time. Punch Oga. Mr….? That man wey die.
Voice: Aboderin!
Fela: Aha. Aboderin! Na ‘im pickin dey here so.
Voices: Wey am! Wey am!
Fela: Na ‘im pickin be that. (Applause as the man stands up and sits again) So na ‘im take ‘im money carry me go Sunsplash. They brought all artistes, Yellow Man, Blue Man, Pink Man. They bring everybody! Na ‘im we dey enjoy dey go yen yen yun. Out of all the artistes wey perform for that show, the bank wey give them credit letter na for Liberia. Two American banks. All the artistes got their cash by credit letter. Me, when dem come my house I say give me cash. (Laughter)
Voice: Yeei! Olosi! Olori buruku!
Fela: Half-way inside plane I take my money, hundred, hundred dollars cash, yen, yen, yen, yen. When show finish, katakata start. Heavy jump body jumbos. Bank no pay. Yellow man turn to blue. (Laughter) Dem no pay, uhn! Me I get my money. Because the black man is following white man too much. White man, e bring money, then e come bring cheque. Then e come bring credit card. Then e come bring credit letter. Then e come bring bank draft. No be ‘im be say e done too much. So me I kuku stay for the first one: money. (Laughter)
I dey play for 7Up on the 26th, for Lekki. Yesterday they come pay. When the man call me e say, Mr Fela, would you like a cheque? I said no no huh huh huh. (Laughter) Any money wey I dey take like this, it must full bag. We dey go Warri 24th. 25th we dey Benin. 26th we’re coming to play at Lekki. Na ‘im.
(Several voices shouting unintelligibly)
Fela: Only the money? (This in response to someone near the stage) Babangida take you dey do boy- boy you call am money. Ode! You’re spending paper! You’re not spending money!...Stupid! You don wear blue and white shirt. Get up! Get up! Let’s see you well. (Laughter) You no talk now. You hide inside darkness dey yab. You’re a man of darkness. (Voices continue shouting various abuses and comments at him) My brother wey dey remind me to smoke Igbo, you see na only your voice I dey hear. So I go smoke am. (He begins a prolonged drag at the huge joint.)
Voice: The thing don quench-o!
(There is uproarious cheering as a tongue of flame leaps out of the glowing end. As it goes off it leaves off a thick curl of smoke spiraling upwards, which Fela pursues with open mouth to inhale, causing more wild laughter and cheering.)
Fela: Those wey dey smoke cocaine think say no only dem dey chase? Me sef dey chase for Igbo now. (More laughter)
Voice: Maradona!
Fela: Everybody say yei yea!
Chorus: Yeeeeeeii Yeeeeeaa!
Fela: So as I dey talk before, you know say the meaning of iyawo na iyaaa wooo. Look me o. So. For white man language they give man husband. Horse band. Women are very very wicked people. (Loud shouts of incredulity) They no even give us horse sef, na the band of the horse. (Laughter). Na so o. Everybody go begin dey run. Everybody dey. Family dey go. Hey o! Hey my wife o! Hungry dey worry you. Dem go make meeting. Family go come. Hey! My wife! Office. The name na horse band! (Prolonged laughter) So when man come give them wife…If you look the word wife…All these things that end in wife, strife, you know, ehe, knife! The meaning of wife is knife! (Laughter) Dis woman dey look me bad eye o! (Referring to a woman in the audience) Are you married to that man? (Pointing to a man next to her) Ooooh! Mr. and Mrs. You don miss yourselves. Him just dey miss you dey go ni. You, Mister, you miss your star. Misses. You don dey miss go ni. (Laughter)
Fela (After some pause): Na white man language sha. (After another pause) For television I come dey hear one song dey say: Jesu Funmilayo. Jesu Funmilayo. Jesu no mean anything pass Je su o! Jesu means je su. You know, toto. Je su o. (He sang making a fucking motion, provoking wild laugher and shouts in protest.) You no go gree. How you go gree? When God send somebody come die, come carry the sins of people go, abi? When e reach the time to come die now, e come say God o abeg help me die o! God say you dey craze! (Wild laughter and shouts of protest) Na the God wey send am o. Man wey dem send go. Son of God gaaan o, as ‘im call ‘imself. When the time to come die come reach now, e come go for mountain: God if it’s possible, remove this cup from my hand. You see now. Which kin’ God be that one. Yeye God. When police dey beat me like this, ask them! Gaddamn! I face them ni o. (Laughter) Ah! Dem go dey beat me dey go. Dem go dey beat. I no go make any cry. Not one sound. Na ‘im e go come dey vex dem dey go. Dem go come dey beat me, dey beat me. I no go make one sound. Dem go wan kill me. My brother, abeg, I no be Jesus Christ wey dem give six strokes e faint. (Shouts of shock and incredulity) Abeg. Jesus Christ, ‘im own na, e come je su. Finish. You see all the things about this world, na toto. Jesus Christ ‘im come je su. Me I come… Mofe fe ki n ma la. (I want to open the cunt wide and lick it.) Fela! (Wild laughter) Me fe la. Jesu wa je su. Na you know wetin you come do o. (Wild laughter)
Fela (after some pause): Judas Ischariot, that one is a bad man. (Laughter) Him don see Jesus Christ say na wayo man. E say, I go catch you. E come tell all ‘im people. Judas. You that’s why we have… they’ re the sons of Judah. Israel, Israeli people…That’s why there are Jews. Dem no dey worship Jesus Christ. They worship Yahweh. That’s why they’re the strongest people in the world today, because dem no dey worship Jesus.
Voice: Which kin’ human being dem be!
Fela: Cool down now. Israelis dey there now. Na Judas Ischariot na ‘im be their baba wey bring Jesus Christ out say you’re a thief. (Shouting continues for a while)
Voice: You don’t know what you’re saying.
Fela: You’re an IBB man, we know! Shut up!
Voices: Sony Okosuns dey yab you! See your wrong packing! You no even wear pant!
Fela: Are you the entertainer or am I the entertainer? (Addressing someone standing near the stage and shouting at him) Shut up all of you! Why are you gbe gbe gbe gbe gbe like that? Please allow the women to shout. All the women shout your own shout, oya. (Shouting continues)
Voice: Sony Okosuns dey yab you!
Fela: Sony Okosuns yab me?
Voices: Yes!!!
Fela: Abeg, please. If cockroach dey yab person, you must not answer. (Laugher) He can’t yab me. He’s my friend. He’s my small brother.
Voice: What of your own brother, Olikoye.
Fela: My brother. Wetin do my brother? You wan find am? Go find am. Go for Ikoyi or Abuja. When you reach there dem go beat you well well o. (Laughter) Brothers and sisters let’s play some sounds now. (Shouting continues) You wan me to go buy land for Abuja? (Responding to somebody in the audience) No be land. Na tree I go go buy there. (Laughter) I go go build my house on top of tree in Abuja. You dey craze? I stay in Lagos, maen. Lagos is the most beautiful city in the whole world. In Lagos we have the best totos. Only say dem no put drainage. If you pass the roads na swimming pool. Nigeria na wa o.
Voice: You no vote today o!
Fela: Vote?
Voice: You no vote!
Fela: Vote? Vote? Those who went to vote today are those who have lost their powers. (Laughter) Me, I see. People wey get common sense no dey do dat kin’ thing. If you wan vote, go and vote o and be the most stupid man in the whole world.
Voice: You must either vote SDP or NRC.
Fela: Abeg, to discuss those people is a waste of time. If you want to discuss SDP and NRC, you’re discussing rats and mice. (Laughter) So let the rats play and the mice play. Let them do their work to destroy and in the meantime we shall give them rat poison and they will all die off. (Laughter)
Voice: We’re voting for you.
Fela: You can’t vote for me. Me I get my own vote from up ni (pointing at his Shrine), international one. Vote for me? No o. The thing wey dey vote for me na ‘im dey there, my Shrine. Leave that one. Vote? Abeg my brother, please ehn. Me I dey for your front dey dance, dey fuck, dey show, dey shake am. At 53. Go check your Papa now. With ‘im very fat stomach, now e dey sleep for house dey make grrrhhhh. (Laughter) I never finish show yet o. Wait till next year. Wait till five years. You, you go know say before dem say seven wonders of the world. Me I’m the eight. (Applause) Unless you no know yourself. When people know themselves, everybody done know themselves. Go and know yourself o, because me, I know myself. Tomorrow, Sunday, we’re launching Femi’s album at the Shrine. Gate fee: 20 naira. Me sef I dey on stage tomorrow, not my band, but I dey gaaaan.